My grandmother died last night. I'm at a bit of a loss for words at the moment, I really don't know what to think or say. I'm lucky in that it's the first loss I've had in my family for quite some time, and I won't pretend that I was particularly close to her...

For most of my life, we lived on separate continents, though we met a few times and talked on the phone. Later in life, when I finally had the physical chance to make contact with her more regularly, I didn't, because it was still 'too far', and I had various issues about her state as she suffered from dementia, etc.

Unfortunately, it has now gone from being 'too far' to 'too late'.

I suppose given her condition for the past few years, she's better off now, and I am thankful for that, but at the same time I can't help but feel a sense of emptiness and regret for not reaching out when I should have, and having let that opportunity slip.

Nan, please know that you always were, and always will be in my heart, and I will treasure the small time we had together forever.

I hope you found that better place.